Father’s Day is coming soon.  This is a great time to remind fathers and children of their individual responsibility towards one another.  Children are to obey their parents.  Obeying parents also comes with a promise that if you do obey, then your days on the earth would be long.  In Colossians 3:20 it says, children should obey their parents in everything and to honor them for this is right.  Obedience is a command from God but this command also comes with responsibility on the part of the parents, especially fathers. In the next verse, Colossians 3:21 says fathers should not provoke their children to anger, unless they become discouraged.  The New Living Bible Translation says it like this – “Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged”.  The idea behind this scripture is that fathers should not be so overbearing that they cause their children to become discouraged or dispirited.  Becoming discouraged or dispirited basically means they give up.  We never want our children to give up.  We want them to have a drive to do well and to be their best.  Unfortunately, if they are told over and over that they are not good enough either by our words or our actions then that can be discouraging to them.  So, fathers instead of emphasizing the negative behavior in your child, accentuate their positives.  Find things that your children do well and compliment them often on what they are doing that’s good.  I’m not saying you should overlook the negative, you shouldn’t.  Give them good, honest feedback but also let them know they are loved and appreciated by you.  With every negative, let them know they do other things well.  Be consistent with your punishment from child to child.  Be careful not to compare your children or make statements that one should act like the other.  Remember, your children are unique and individual.  They are their own person and don’t like to be compared to anyone else.  Let them know that you appreciate them just the way they are.  If there are things you would like for them to work on, then show them and help them improve.  Changing behavior is not easy.  It requires an understanding of what needs to be done, why it needs to be done and how it needs to be done.  So, as a father, your job is to answer these questions and lay out an improvement plan that will assure your child is successful.  If you don’t know what to do, then ask.  And once you know what to do, train your child accordingly.  If you show your child that you care enough to learn and do better yourself, then they will want to improve their behavior also.  Remember, they are watching you.  Do your best to not aggravate or provoke them to anger, but love them and care for them according to God’s grace and love.